Hello fellow readers, I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while 😦
I still think about this blog very often, so don’t worry I haven’t forgotten about it. But I have told myself I will be posting more often, probably once or twice a month.
Well – here we go.
A few weeks ago, my car was in the body shop getting repaired so I had a Mazda 3 from Hertz as a loaner car.
So I was driving home on a Saturday afternoon and was about .02 miles away from my apartment building. I see a police car pull up to the street ahead of me, and I intuitively slow down. But I was already going the speed limit (I had just received a speeding ticket few days prior). So I told myself that I was fine. I was tired that day so I had my head resting on my hand with my elbow on the car door. I then drive by the cop and I see him pull out onto the street right behind me.
Uhm okay. And now he’s tailgating me, so I change lanes to the left lane. He does the same. I think nothing of it.
Are. you. fucking. kidding. me.
I JUST got a ticket a few days ago – this does not need to be happening.
I pull over into the USD parking lot (literally across from my apartment building), and stopped. The cop came up to the window.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “Uhm no.” I was expecting him to say that I was speeding or something. Which I wasn’t doing.
Cop: “Well, HEEERREEEE in CAliFORnia,” (Why the fuck is he telling me we’re in California?) “we don’t allow the use of cell phones while driving.”
I had been expecting him to say something I might have been guilty of, and I was prepared to be defensive. Not this time. I had no idea what he was talking about.
Me: “uh – uhm, wha – uhhhhhhhhh wait – wha-” I was stuttering because I was in shock that he was accusing me of something I didn’t do.
Me: “I didn’t – wait. I didn’t. I wasn’t. talking on the phone!”
Cop: “Well I saw you had your hand up on your ear.”
I had just remembered I had my head on my hand.
Me: “OHHH no I was resting my head on my hand!”
I could tell he wasn’t believing me. I was still in shock because I did not deserve this ticket.
Me: “Ok uhm well. If you look here,” (I point to my cochlear implant) “I have a cochlear implant. I have a severe hearing loss and I can’t talk on cell phones. So, that doesn’t even make sense.”
His face went white and his eyes were wide open.
Cop: “Oh. Well. Uhm, why do you have Arizona plates?”
Me: “It’s not my car. It’s a rental. My car’s in the shop.”
Cop: “Oh well why does this car have Arizona plates when we’re in California?”
Me: Oh because I stole Arizona plates off another car and put it on here. It’s because I deal drugs. I’m actually in the deaf mob. I’m known as Mos Deaf.
What the fuck do you expect?
“I don’t know. Probably because the previous renter drove it from Arizona to California.”
Cop: “Well that is strange.”
Cop: “Can I see your license and registration?”
I give him the info. He then goes to his car and then comes back after a few minutes.
Cop: “Ok you’re good to go. Just for future reference, make sure when you are getting pulled over that you pull over immediately and that you don’t wait until a parking lot or somewhere to pull into.”
Me: “Hmm ok. Thanks.” I think the bigger concern here is that you should be getting your eyes checked.
My Life is Deaf.